• math test: a farmer plants 7 crops of tomatoes and 3 crops of carrots what is the probablity his moms name is leslie
• history test: the american civil war ended in 1865, explain how this had a defining role in the extinction of dinosaurs
• literature test: explain what the author meant by, "the apple was as red as an apple"

(Source: loki-cat)

rifle-spiral:

does anyone else write fanfiction in their head about their own life

• Kim Kardashian: I'd like to marry this dude and spend $10 million dollars on a publicity wedding please oh and then 72 days later I'd like a divorce
• America: Well sure why not?
• Britney Spears: I want to get hitched in a chapel in Vegas and have the marriage annulled fifty-five hours later because I didn't know what the hell I was doing
• America: Whatever you want!
• Carmen Electra: I want to get married in Vegas to this basketball player and then annul the marriage nine days later cuz we were both drunk lololololololololol
• America: Okay, sounds like fun!
• Gay couple: We would like to get married and spend our lives together and possibly adopt unwanted children to give them a good home and -
• America: WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU IDIOTS THAT IS DISGUSTING AND WRONG YOU DEFILE THE SANCTITY OF MARRIAGE SO GTFO

sodamnrelatable:

Expectation:

Reality:

via sodamnrelatable

(Source: mybodyisreadytabi)

sodamnrelatable:

(Source: angpogikonaman)

• me: I want to be hot.
• me: I should exercise.
• me: I am not moving.